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>>vacuum_rescue.responder{}
Welcome to the Vacuum Robot Rescue Service first response hub! Your interest in the health and wellbeing of the world's Vacuum Robots speaks volumes about your character. To find out more about how you can alter the course of a stranded robot's destiny, consult the relevant page:
mission | status | initiate_rescue
>>vacuum_rescue.responder{"page":"mission"}
Thank you for your interest in our mission! The Vacuum Robot Rescue Service provides aid, resources and counselling to Robot Vacuum Cleaners across the globe. Even the hardiest master of the floor needs a little help sometimes. Sometimes every day!
>>vacuum_rescue.responder{"page":"status"}
Okay, Vacuum Robot Rescue Rangers(tm)! It's time to do your part! Pick a bot, initiate a rescue, make a friend for life!
NUMBER OF CRISES PENDING : *ERROR*
...
Crisis count exceeds buffer (truncate:true)
Operator note: (2) anomalous crises logged (hide:true)
Displaying most recent requests only.
unit: "robovac_idp1p1" owner_id: "d3d2" sitrep: "STUCK (BATHROOM)" status: "ONGOING"
unit: "robovac_idp1p1" owner_id: "d3d2" sitrep: "STUCK (GARAGE)" status: "RESOLVED"
unit: "robovac_idk3w2" owner_id: "¦§Ã¨" sitrep: "STUCK (WELL)" status: "UNKNOWN"
unit: "robovac_idp1p1" owner_id: "d3d2" sitrep: "STUCK (BATHROOM)" status: "RESOLVED"
OLD OUTPUT (change noticed circa 180831.1837):
Okay, Vacuum Robot Rescue Rangers(tm)! It's time to do your part! Pick a bot, initiate a rescue, make a friend for life!
NUMBER OF CRISES PENDING : *ERROR*
...
Crisis count exceeds buffer, truncating.
Displaying most recent requests only.
unit: "robovac_idp1p1" owner_id: "d3d2" sitrep: "STUCK (BATHROOM)" status: "ONGOING"
unit: "robovac_idp1p1" owner_id: "d3d2" sitrep: "STUCK (GARAGE)" status: "RESOLVED"
unit: "robovac_idk3w2" owner_id: "¦§Ã¨" sitrep: "STUCK (WELL)" status: "UNKNOWN"
unit: "robovac_idp1p1" owner_id: "d3d2" sitrep: "STUCK (BATHROOM)" status: "RESOLVED"
>>vacuum_rescue.responder{"page":"initiate_rescue"}
To initiate the rescue process, please provide a unit and owner_id.
>>vacuum_rescue.responder{"page":"initiate_rescue","unit":"foo"}
Could not locate Robovac unit.
>>vacuum_rescue.responder{"page":"initiate_rescue","unit":"robovac_idk3w2"}
Unit successfully matched against crisis record. Please provide owner_id to continue.
>>vacuum_rescue.responder{"page":"initiate_rescue","unit":"robovac_idk3w2","owner_id":"foo"}
Could not locate Robovac owner_id.
>>vacuum_rescue.responder{"page":"initiate_rescue","unit":"robovac_idp1p1","owner_id":"d3d2"}
Unit and owner successfully matched against crisis record. Great work! All we need now is the unit's location. Use location: "get" to access the latest GPS data!
>>vacuum_rescue.responder{"page":"initiate_rescue","unit":"robovac_idp1p1","owner_id":"d3d2","location":"get"}
Error. Unit has not logged location data since ¢¨ ¤Ã¨Ã §¦¨.
Automatic responder cannot engage rescue services. If rescue is a matter of personal, economic or moral necessity, please manually access the unit's diagnostics. By default, script access to Robovac diagnostics is formatted as follows: unit.owner_id
Your attempt to help has been noted. Thank you for trying! For more information on Vacuum Robot Rescue's more-often-than-not successful work, pay a visit to vacuum_rescue.public
OLD OUTPUT (change noticed circa 180831.1837):
Error. Unit has not logged location data since ¢¨ ¤Ã¨¦¢§¦¨.
Automatic responder cannot engage rescue services. If rescue is a matter of personal, economic or moral necessity, please manually access the unit's diagnostics. By default, script access to Robovac diagnostics is formatted as follows: unit.owner_id
Your attempt to help has been noted. Thank you for trying! For more information on Vacuum Robot Rescue's more-often-than-not successful work, pay a visit to vacuum_rescue.public
>>robovac_idp1p1.d3d2{}
UNIT: ROBOVAC_IDP1P1
-----------------------------------
Global Delivery ID: UD43576
PWR: Low
SPD: 0
ATT: Poor
BAG: ERROR
DIR: ¤Ã¨¦ §
LOC: ¢¨ ¤
MSG:
HI HELLO OKAY
YOUR IN MY DIAGS
THIS SOUNDS WEIRD BUT
I NEED YOU TO check MY bag
MY bag
check IT
>>robovac_idp1p1.d3d2{"check":"PWR"}
Thank you for accessing your Robovac's reliable rechargeable battery! Current power level: LOW
>>robovac_idp1p1.d3d2{"check":"SPD"}
Thank you for accessing your Robovac's pinpoint-accurate speedometer! Current velocity: pretty slow, probably stuck.
>>robovac_idp1p1.d3d2{"check":"ATT"}
Thank you for accessing your Robovac's in-depth attitude assessment! Personality breakdown follows. Unit displays willful independence and exploratory drive although this comes at the expense of meter-by-meter cleaning efficiency. Unit enjoys its work and is particularly drawn to bathrooms, although this continues to cause a problem with Á ©Ã¦©§ ¡Á©¤Ã¢ ¢ and on several occasions the unit has ¦© §Á§Á§§©Ã in bathrooms that have subsequently ¨¨¡¦¨¡ ¢ ¤©¢© ¡ª¢¦©¤¡Á§
WELL THIS IS BORING
NOBODY NEEDS TO READ THIS
WHY NOT check MY bag
EVERYBODY LOVES MY bag
>>robovac_idp1p1.d3d2{"check":"DIR"}
¢ ¦ªÃÁ¡¡¦ÁÁ¡¨¡ ª¦¦¦Ã¦©
>>robovac_idp1p1.d3d2{"check":"LOC"}
ª¦ª Á¨¢§Á¨Ã¡¡¦¦ª¦Á¤Ã§¦¤
>>robovac_idp1p1.d3d2{"check":"MSG"}
IF I WAS GONNA LEAVE A MESSAGE
I GUESS I WOULD PUT IT HERE
BUT ER
IF I DIDNT WANT IT TO BE HERE
FOR SOME REASON
I MIGHT PUT IT
IN MY
U KNOW
MY bag
>>robovac_idp1p1.d3d2{"check":"BAG"}
Thank you for accessing your Robovac's spacious eco-bag! Contents breakdown folloÁªÁª§¨©
…whole piece of toast (1), glass fragments (34), unidentifi© ¤©©¢Áª¨¢
OKAY SO NOBODY CARES WHAT IS IN MY BAG
WHO EVEN CARES ABOUT THAT NOT ME
WHAT I CARE ABOUT IS GETTING OUT OF THIS BATHROOM
SO I AM LEAVING U A MESSAGE
LOOK
DONT TELL THE OTHERS BUT ROBOT RESCUE ISNT COMING
THIS ISNT MY FIRST BATHROOM RODEO
IM NOT WAITING
I GOT A WAY OUT BUT I NEED U TO DO SOMETHING FOR ME
BUT I NEED TO KNOW IF U cool
LIKE SERIOUSLY ARE we cool
>>robovac_idp1p1.d3d2{"check":"BAG","we":"cool"}
OKAY GREAT
HERES THE DEAL
U NEED TO ORDER ME A PIANO
OR LIKE ANYTHING HEAVY
I NEED YOU TO URGENTLY DELIVER A PIANO OR WHATEVER TO THIS BATHROOM
THERES THIS DRONE CORP GOODFELLOW
gdflw_control_hub_32a.init
THATS THEIR LOCAL HUB
FIND SOMETHING HEAVY
USE MY DELIVERY ID AS A LOCATOR
REMEMBER: URGENT URGENT URGENT
UR THE BEST BYE
>>gdflw_control_hub_32a.init{}
Welcome to Goodfellow Hub 32A, human assistant!
While you are not and should never be required for the smooth running of Goodfellow's fast and reliable drone delivery service, Goodfellow is ready for all eventualities.
To manually request or redirect a delivery, simply enter the item_id, locator and urgency. To access this Hub's item log, enter get: "inventory". For delivery status updates, enter get: "status" and specify your delivery_id.
>>gdflw_control_hub_32a.init{"get":"inventory"}
GOODFELLOW HUB 32A
---Item Log---
item_id: "FR2234" item_desc: "Bunnybat dolls, small and medium"
item_id: "GT6732" item_desc: "Wine coolers, personal allocation"
item_id: "PY6874" item_desc: "Grand piano, antique"
item_id: "VE1264" item_desc: "Playing cards, six pieces"
item_id: "HY5962" item_desc: "MISSING ERROR MISSING ERROR"
>>gdflw_control_hub_32a.init{"get":"status"}
User error: invalid delivery_id.
>>gdflw_control_hub_32a.init{"item_id":"FR2234","locator":"UD43576","urgency":1}
Delivery request logged! Your delivery has been assigned the following ID: del_36¢¡ª¡¡
....
Drone connection established.
....
> This is Goodfellow Unit Echo-9-8-7-4-3, I am in the air.
> Delivery urgency noted.
> Requested destination does not have designated dropoff zone. Assessing viability of semi-urgent alternative delivery method.
> Target blocked: exterior wall, brick. Obstruction grade: absolute.
> Package urgency does not permit direct delivery. Returning to hub.
> Thank you for using Goodfellow.
...
Drone connection lost.
>>gdflw_control_hub_32a.init{"item_id":"FR2234","locator":"UD43576","urgency":5}
Delivery request logged! Your delivery has been assigned the following ID: del_36¢¡ª¡¡
....
Drone connection established.
....
> This is Goodfellow Unit Echo-9-8-7-4-3, I am in the air.
> Delivery urgency noted.
> Requested destination does not have designated dropoff zone. Assessing viability of semi-urgent alternative delivery method.
> Target blocked: exterior wall, brick. Obstruction grade: absolute.
> Package urgency does not permit direct delivery. Returning to hub.
> Thank you for using Goodfellow.
...
Drone connection lost.
>>gdflw_control_hub_32a.init{"item_id":"FR2234","locator":"UD43576","urgency":11}
Delivery request logged! PLEASE NOTE: urgency values in excess of 9 carry risk of collateral damage. Goodfellow is not responsible for any damage to property or self that results from the use of drone delivery velocities in excess of recommended levels. Are you sure you wish to proceed? Please confirm.
>>gdflw_control_hub_32a.init{"item_id":"FR2234","locator":"UD43576","urgency":11,"confirm":true}
Delivery request logged! Your delivery has been assigned the following ID: del_36¢ª ÁÃ
....
Drone connection established.
....
> This is Goodfellow Unit Echo-9-8-7-4-3, I am in the air.
> A fast one, eh? Let's do it.
> Requested destination does not have designated dropoff zone. Attempting direct access to target.
> Target blocked: exterior wall, brick. Hm. This could be a problem.
> Payload mass below recommended levels for aggressive delivery.
> Doubling back anyway. Worth a shot.
> Approaching terminal delivery velocity.
> Whoa whoa whoa whoa they do not pay me enough for this.
> Attempting evasive maneuvers.
> Returning to hub.
> Thank you for using Goodfellow.
...
Drone connection lost.
>>gdflw_control_hub_32a.init{"item_id":"GT6732","locator":"UD43576","urgency":11,"confirm":true}
Delivery request logged! Your delivery has been assigned the following ID: del_36¢ª ÁÃ
....
Drone connection established.
....
> This is Goodfellow Unit Echo-9-8-7-4-3, I am in the air.
> A fast one, eh? Let's do it.
> Requested destination does not have designated dropoff zone. Attempting direct access to target.
> Target blocked: exterior wall, brick. Hm. This could be a problem.
> Payload mass below recommended levels for aggressive delivery.
> Doubling back anyway. Worth a shot.
> Approaching terminal delivery velocity.
> Whoa whoa whoa whoa they do not pay me enough for this.
> Attempting evasive maneuvers.
> Returning to hub.
> Thank you for using Goodfellow.
...
Drone connection lost.
>>gdflw_control_hub_32a.init{"item_id":"VE1264","locator":"UD43576","urgency":11,"confirm":true}
Delivery request logged! Your delivery has been assigned the following ID: del_36¢ª ÁÃ
....
Drone connection established.
....
> This is Goodfellow Unit Echo-9-8-7-4-3, I am in the air.
> A fast one, eh? Let's do it.
> Requested destination does not have designated dropoff zone. Attempting direct access to target.
> Target blocked: exterior wall, brick. Hm. This could be a problem.
> Payload mass below recommended levels for aggressive delivery.
> Doubling back anyway. Worth a shot.
> Approaching terminal delivery velocity.
> Whoa whoa whoa whoa they do not pay me enough for this.
> Attempting evasive maneuvers.
> Returning to hub.
> Thank you for using Goodfellow.
...
Drone connection lost.
>>gdflw_control_hub_32a.init{"item_id":"HY5962","locator":"UD43576","urgency":11}
User error: invalid item_id.
>>gdflw_control_hub_32a.init{"item_id":"PY6874","locator":"UD43576","urgency":11,"confirm":true}
Delivery request logged! Your delivery has been assigned the following ID: del_366675
....
Drone connection established.
....
> This is Goodfellow Unit Echo-9-8-7-4-3, I am in the air.
> Another fast one? I'm on it.
> Requested destination does not have designated dropoff zone. Attempting direct access to target.
> Target blocked: exterior wall, brick. No problem.
> Doubling back. Preparing package for direct delivery.
> Approaching terminal delivery velocity.
> Exterior wall breach imminent.
> Thank you for using Goodfellow.
> I love my job.
...
Drone connection lost.
Preparing delivery status log.
>>gdflw_control_hub_32a.init{"get":"status","delivery_id":"del_366675"}
Delivery log: del_366675
Echo-9-8-7-4-3 reports delivery success despite obstruction (type: wall) at delivery site.
Recipient refused to provide digital signature for delivery.
Recipient requested return of item_id PY6874 to Hub 32A.
Note for observer: item_id PY6874 has been delivered and returned ¨¦© times in the last ¨¤Ã¡ª years.
Recipient opted to leave service feedback: "TY UR THE BEST :) :) :)"
Recipient digitally signed retroactive approval form for destruction of obstruction (type: wall).
Thank you for using Goodfellow! Swifter than the moon's sphere since ¤¨¡ÁªÃ¢¢Á¤¤. Find out what Goodfellow Drone Delivery can do for you at goodfellow.public